In my previous posts I talked about Denial & Anger and Bargaining & Depression. Finally, acceptance and moving on with life is around the corner! If you are reading this at the beginning of the divorce proceedings, rest assured, you will get there too! It may seem impossible at the moment, but after a while you look back and can no longer imagine you stayed in the marriage for so long, or that you were that distressed about the divorce. Yes, it was life altering, but things are so much better now.
“Your relationship may be “Breaking Up,” but you won’t be “Breaking Down.” If anything you’re correcting a mistake that was hurting four people, you and the person your with, not to mention the two people who you were destined to meet.” ― D. Ivan Young
Acceptance begins when you accept your grief, it slowly peeks around the corner. Through your tears there is that little light of hope. “I’m going to be OK”, you are coming to terms with the end of the marriage. You are accepting the situation without trying to change it.
When you can let go of the marriage and the life that was, you’ll discover your strength, your peace and your serenity. The struggle is over, you have let go of your resistance. It is beginning to feel good.
Don’t confuse acceptance with tolerance. Tolerance still implies there is some resistance. It still is a road block to living your life to the fullest. It means you haven’t completed all previous stages.
Embrace Your New Life
And so life does move on. Not only should you accept the divorce, but hopefully you have used it as a life experience that moved you into the direction of a better person, a better parent. Self acceptance is important now. Be loving and happy with who you are now. Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this moment.
This self acceptance leads to a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before, because you were caught up in the struggle against reality.
Embrace the possibilities that lay ahead of you! The past is the past, happiness is in the present and the future.
Starting to date is a whole new adventure in itself, that at most requires a few posts of itself. I’m excited to start the journey of dating.
One of the things that has been important to me is that I didn’t want to start dating too soon. I would probably enjoy the company, but at the same time, I don’t know if I would have been such great company. You often hear divorcing dates only talk about their ex and the divorce. You are much more interesting and desirable when you have embraced life again for yourself. So I waited. Good things do come for those who wait!